Rowdy with Four

As my two oldest sons have started playing football, I have seen how they struggle. I blame myself and my husband for that. We haven't spent the time with our children playing sports that most parents do. Both kiddos were terrified of the ball. They would duck if the ball came their direction. I guess we assumed our children would be natural athletes like us...not the case.

We have spent countless hours practicing with these two. I stuffed a pillow in my shirt so my oldest could practice his tackling. My younger son is no longer ducking, but catching the ball. My oldest son can now throw a beautiful spiral. They have improved so much in football these past few weeks with our help. It makes me so proud as a mom.

When he prayed this morning, my heart leaped with joy. He didn't say a routine prayer. He thanked God for His teacher and school. He asked for forgiveness. He spoke from His heart. He talked to God. At dinner, he prayed again. One that was different from the other. How do you describe the feeling that gives you as a mom? You can't. 

It is my prayer that ALL my children will receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior. That they will love Him with all their heart, soul, and mind. 

What a great responsibility God gives us! 

Then He told me to post some and share.  To expose this sinner's heart to all who choses to take the time to read them. I don't know why.

As I read, He showed me my handwriting changed with the seasons, but His love for me has remained the same. Steady and constant.

When he came home at the beginning of this school year and told me he was playing on the 7th grade football team, I didn't believe him. I knew he had to do athletics and learn the sport because it is a small school, but he's choosing to play on the team on his own. He wanted me to buy him some football cleats. I asked him if he was sure he was on the team. I hadn't heard or received anything from the school or coaching staff. Yes, mom, I'm on the team!

So, before I spent money on cleats, I called the school office to confirm with the coach. Yep. He's on the team. I expressed my concerns and how he had never played before. The coach went on to tell me how a lot of them haven't and that my son was doing great. Ok. So that weekend I bought the cleats, and he has been practicing for his first game that is today.

Yesterday, was his first after school practice against the 8th graders. So he stayed after school to practice while I took the littles to afterschool Bible study. Practice would be over at 5, but I saw I received a missed call from the school at 4 so I headed over to the school at 4:30. I went to the athletic building expecting to see my son suited up, but instead he was standing on the sidelines with a defeated face. 

I asked him what was wrong and before he could answer a classmate preceded to tell me how my son was sick and that he was vomiting and that she was not going let him practice. This momma knew better. So when she walked off, I looked him in the eye and asked him what's really going on. He said those 8th graders are big and I don't want to play football anymore. What!?! He went on to tell me how he doesn't know the plays and he's afraid to tackle or get tackled.

So we waited on the sideline until practice was over. When his team began to huddle, I told him to join his team and when his coach was finished talking tell him your mom needs to talk to him. I listened as the coach talked to them and encouraged them for their first game. He was reminding them the team they will play will not be as big as the 8th graders. He asked if they had any questions. They did. None of them pertained to football. Haha!

After the team huddle, I sent Steven to the locker room while I spoke to his coach. With tears, you know me, I explained how my son was overcome with fear. The first thing he did was encourage me not to let him quit. Which I had already told my son he wasn't quitting. I bought cleats for goodness sakes! He reassured me that My son was doing great. He said he could see the fears that my son has and that there were many more players with the same fears. Laughing, he said none of them know the plays. I walked away confident my son was under a compassionate coach that truly seeks to build team players.

I went and waited for my son in the truck. When he came out he was smiling and walking proud with his jersey. There's that excitement again. As he got in the truck, a teammate yelled, "Missed you at practice! Get better we need you in the game." Teary eyes again. His coach had also took the time out to encourage my son and build him up. That means a lot to this momma. When he got in the truck he said, "Mom, you're not going to believe this, but I'm not the only one afraid. Coach says so." I just smiled and thought to myself thank you, Jesus.

So what inspires me? God's Word. You can bet last night during our nightly devotion we talked about David and Goliath. We read many Scriptures on fear. Today we are ready to face our giant and overcome our fears. Go Tigers!

As a mom, I just want my kids to do one simple thing - FOLLOW DIRECTIONS...this morning as I'm juggling Peyton, two drinks, and the truck keys I ask, "Steven, grab these drink(s) and put them in the truck for me."

Tumble-tumble went Peyton's milk to the ground. KaBOOM the cup is down for the count. It's a goner. Count to ten, I say in my head. Breathe. Just breathe don't yell.

"Oh, you wanted me to get both of them?" 

"Yes, Steven, yes."

I just smiled. It was an accident. It's nothing to get upset over and let it ruin our morning. I mean we were actually running on time.  I had Steven run down and open the gate while I went to pour another cup of milk.

Now as I sit here, having meditated on God's Word, He didn't just use today's circumstance; but this past year to show me where my spirit has gradually been overcoming my flesh. He's shown me my weaknesses and my strengths. Although, I'm not where I want to be, I'm not where I use to be. 

"This I say then, walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." |Galatians 5:16|

Love - I want to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind. I want to love my neighbor as myself. Just like the Bible commands. |Matthew 22:37-39|

Joy - I want the joy of the Lord that comes even during trials, suffering, and testing. |James 1:2-3|

Peace - I want the perfect peace that comes from the Lord. Not to worry about the cares of this world but to trust him. |Isaiah 26:3|

Patience - Oh, how I need patience. I want it to flow through me. Not to get angry about silly, small things. |Ecclesiastes 7:9|

Kindness - I want to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving those that have hurt me, even as God has forgiven me. Forgiveness that allows me to pray for blessings upon them. |Ephesians 4:32|

Goodness - I want to be generous. When people see my heart, I want them to see Jesus. |Matthew 6:21|

Meekness - I want to remember my past and sins that I have overcome. I want to be able to bless and help those that are struggling. To remember that I haven't always been where I am today. I want the compassion and love of Christ. |Galatains 6:1|

Self Control - I don't want to return evil for evil. I want the spirit to have complete control. |Matthew 26:52-54|

Faithfulness - I want to be just like Christ. Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Faithful. I want to love him and keep his commandments. |Hebrews 13:8|

When you come to the fork in the road, you have a choice. You can walk in the flesh, or you can walk in the Spirit. I choose the harder road. The road less walked...the Spirit.

As each day passes, God continues to add more light to my darkened canvas. Perfecting His work of art to what He envisions I will be when it's all said and done.

Satan reminds me of my flaws daily, but God reminds me I am His handiwork and He is still creating me into His Final Masterpiece.

As a child, you could have easily pegged me as an introvert; however, God gave me gifts to lead and teach. Gifts that require a personality of an extrovert.

I'm still an introvert at heart. I'm quiet until I get to know you. I don't walk up to strangers and just start chatting out of the blue. I find making conversation hard. Finding a seat and blending in is my plan, but...

I'm an extrovert empowered by the Holy Spirit. I light up in a room full of children, full of energy and excitement. You can't shut me up. I won't sit down. There isn't a kid I won't talk to or hug. God says you will be an extrovert, too.

"We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before hand that we should walk in them." |Ephesians 2:10|

He gives me everything I need to display the beauty He is creating in me. In Heaven I will see that I am indeed a perfect work of art ~ God's Masterpiece.

And in my mid teens you would find me listening to country...particularly Garth Brooks and Reba Mcentire. You will still find me listening to these guys today on Pandora. I'm old country, if you know what mean.

"...if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out." |Luke 19:40|

This time last year my heart was empty. I had found out once again that my husband was tempted to cheat on me. Although he didn't, my heart was still broken into a million pieces. So embarrassed. So humiliated. So hurt. I just wanted to bury myself under a rock somewhere and die.

Angry doesn't even begin to explain how I felt. I felt like he robbed me of everything. Did he not love me? How little he must think of me! How could he do this to me? What should I do...forgive or turn my back?

Today I read the parable about the creditor that had two debtors that owed him money. One more than the other. When they couldn't repay him, the creditor freely forgave them of their debt. God asked Simon, "tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?" Simon replied, "To whom he forgave most." 

Is that what builds love? That's what my heart says to trust. Hate the sin and love the sinner. Forgiveness = Love! There is no sin too big for God to forgive, and I know no greater love than His for me. He sent His one and only son to die just for me.

"Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to who little is forgiven, the same loveth little." |Luke 7:47|

I'm currently choosing forgiveness. How about you?

70 x 7 |Matthew 18:21|

"And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." |Galatians 5:24|

God + Gifts = Children! For 18 years God used me as an administrator, leader, and teacher in a Christian school and Church Children's Ministry. Leading children to Christ. Joy. Pure joy!

I loved being an administrator and  being able to coordinate and create. I also enjoyed leading teachers in hopes that they would see a small glimpse of my heart and share the love I have for His children. As for the teaching of academics, I dreaded it! Bible. Just let me teach Bible and love them like Christ all day long.

What are some of my favorite and least favorite trends? Well let's have some fun and start remembering...

Who remembers rolling their jeans up? Hideous! Why I did that I have no idea. That should've been a big oh no. 

Who remembers the skorts? Those were definitely a favorite in the 90s. I had denim. I had khaki. I had every color you can think of. I would easily wear those again.

I was always jealous of the girls with the denim skirts with the splatter paint. I never got my own. But loved, loved, loved it! My daughter will bring this back!

Who had the stirrup leggings? I did! My mom loved dressing us in these with big sweaters and Keds. I'm not sure I would bring this back.

Jellies were definitely a favorite shoe of all time. I love buying them for my daughter now. Scrunchies should've been a big oh no. Let's stick to bows.

How about those Coca-Cola shirts? Saving Coke tabs. I remember winning my T-shirt. How about you?

And the stretchy shirts. That definitely should've been a big oh no! Why I would sneak in my sisters closet to wear hers, I have no idea.

Who remembers everyone showing up at Christmas dinner wearing their new windbreaker? I wish they would come back. They should've never left. Those are the most comfortable outfits ever! 

Butterfly clips are right up there with banana clips. They should've been a big oh no! Yet everybody was wearing them.

Doc Martin's. My mom could never afford them for us. But oh how I love them. I could dress the 90s grudge for the rest of my life.

For the past 18 years I have served as a children's ministry coordinator and teacher|administrator at a small Christian school at the only church I have attended since it was started in the home of my uncle almost thirty years ago.  From a house to trailer, trailer to small sanctuary, from a small sanctuary to WOW God is simply amazing, I was saved and baptized, met and married my husband, dedicated my children to The Lord, and was broken into a million pieces...

This trial led me into the wilderness where I have been wandering for the past year, seeking God in hopes to find His perfect will for me and my family. There has to be a land flowing with milk and honey for us somewhere. Today, it has literally been a year since my world was turned upside down and stomped on by Satan. It's simple. He is a roaring lion seeking to destroy...he has come close so many times, but God. God continues to pick up the pieces and mend them together. 

This city girl has recently traded in her dress shoes for a pair of country boots. God has opened the door for me to be a stay at home mom on a farm to my four little humans that are Rowdy, but oh how they steal my heart each passing day. I enjoy the simple life God has led me to. I get to be in their world 24/7. From chasing grasshoppers to pulling a little red wagon until sunset. Putting meals on the table, doing homework, laundry and all that keeps our little homestead functioning. This is my job. My number one ministry. The way God intended it to be all along.

The truth is I've spent the past 18 years being busy being busy that I missed some of the simple joys in life. God is telling me it's okay not to be a full time {Martha}.  I loved what I did while serving God in full time ministry, the people I met, the children I served, but God has a different plan for me now. I understand more clearly now. I don't have to do it all to be perfect in His sight because He's already did it. He overcame death on the cross to give me more abundant life. And that's what I want...Abundant life. More of Him and less of me! It's my time to be a {Mary} and to enjoy this beautiful world He has created for all to enjoy.