Rowdy with Four

Dear Grandmother,

This morning, at the hospital, the tears shed by my 13 year old boy for you was all the evidence I needed to prove you touched more than just my heart. I want you to know you are priceless! I don't believe you were really ever told this…if so, not enough. However, I do know Grandaddy saw you for the jewel that you truly are. And, I do, too!

After Grandaddy passed, the praises were sung about the legacy he left as a friend, brother, dad, husband, and grandaddy; but what about you, the woman that walked in his shadow. I believe he was the man he was because of you. The woman that loved him unconditionally. You never got the spotlight, but today I want tell you how you shined so bright in my life.

I always looked forward to playing hooky from school just so I could spend the day with you. I know you knew I wasn't truly sick…why else would you fry me up some eggs, bacon, and toast for breakfast? And, I always loved our late nights watching The Carol Burnett Show and Love Connection. And, what an amazing privilege to pick your whiskers!

I will never forget how you took care of my first newborn son, a preemie, the first year of his life. I was so young, newly married, a mother for the first time, and so scared to leave him. But 80 years old, you loved my baby, your great grand-baby, with only a love so sweet and tender that a Godly woman like yourself could have. Your sugars are truly the best.

My sweetest memories though are the most recent ones. The conversations we had each week when I came to bathe you. The laughs we shared over our Taco Casa. The cookies you had ready for your great grand-babies. I'm so thankful for this intimate time that God gave us together. It truly was an answered prayer.

Grandmother, God has been teaching me so much in this new season of mine. He's been teaching me to be more like you. Your selfless love that goes beyond affection to self sacrificing service. How did you serve? How did you not serve? You served your friends, your sisters and brothers, parents, husband, children, children in-laws, and it didn't end with your grandchildren. You invested in people. You were intentional in your relationships.

You loved BIG! I'm so thankful for the legacy you have left in my heart. You loved to talk and never wanted people to go. Now here I am longing to hear your voice one last time, not wanting you to go.

I love you, Grandmother!


Love always,
Sarah

Yesterday my soon to be second grader was hopping around on one foot. At first, I thought he was just being a boy bouncing around and having fun. As time went by, I noticed he wasn't putting any pressure on it. I asked him…Why are you jumping around on one foot???

Well it turns out that he had a sticker in his foot. He was able to remove the big part, but a small thorn still remained in his foot. One he couldn't remove on his own. I had him sit on the couch and show me his foot. I couldn't see anything so I rubbed my hand gently along his foot…Ouch!!!

I couldn't see it in the dim light, but something was definitely there. I turned on my flashlight app and had him hold it up so we could see better. There it was. I tried first to remove it with my fingers. That didn't work. It was going to take the tweezers…Is it gonna hurt???

He was hesitant to let me pull it out since it hurt when I touched it before. Sure jumping on one foot is fun at first, but did he really want to do this the rest of his life? No, and as his mother I knew this. I knew it would hurt as I pulled it out, but I also knew it would heal and the pain would soon cease. Tears flowed with a big…Ouch!!!

It hurt as I pulled that thorn out. I held him in my arms as he cried. He didn't cry long once he realized the pain was finally gone. He could walk again…It doesn't hurt anymore…THANKS, MOM!

What thorn is needing to be removed from your heart?

It can be so easy to remove those thorns on the surface, but what about those thorns that go deep into our hearts? Sometimes we don't even realize they exist. Thorns of bitterness, addiction, fear, doubt, brokenness, unhappiness, loneliness, insecurities, pride, conflict, and the list goes on.

Are you hurting and don't know why…your light is dim? Go to the Word. He will light your path. He will reveal the thorns that pain you. AND He is the one that can remove them.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105

When He does remove the thorn. With or without your help. Remember, He knows better. The pain of letting go is only temporary.

"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5 ESV

Here are 5 things I do to help reveal and remove the thorns that plague me…

1. I meet with God before anyone else.
2. I get into God's Word every day. 
3. I participate in a weekly small-group prayer/Bible study.
4. I write my prayers and record my blessings and answered prayers.
5. I picked a 'theme chapter' to live by and memorize. {My theme verse is Psalm 71}

Today my heart is breaking. I feel helpless. I just wish there was something I could do. I want to fix it. I want to make it all better. I want to stop the hurt. The struggle is real. One word…it SUCKS! It literally SUCKS.

It SUCKS that Satan is a roaring lion seeking to destroy all in his path. He is destroying people little by little as we sit back and let him. We hand Him the victories one by one.

It SUCKS that we pretend the attacks are not real and that life is perfect. We take our trials, our temptations, our hurts, our shame, our sins, and stuff them in our sock drawer hoping no one sees the truth. The truth of who we really are…simply sinners saved by grace longing to be whole.

It SUCKS that we have made a relationship with Christ something it is totally not. We've made it about law and deeds when it's all about faith and grace. We enter His house weekly and still leave empty not knowing what our true purpose in life is.

It SUCKS that Satan has us so busy and distracted with playing 'Christian' we no longer have the love of Christ that goes beyond the affection to self sacrificing service. We are missing the opportunities that are right in front of us.

It SUCKS that Satan has us blinded to the work God is doing all around us. God longs for an intimate relationship with us outside the four walls we call church. Wanting to listen. Ready to speak. Wanting ALL of you. But, still waiting…

I guess what I'm really trying to say is…God wants to give us victory! Stop pretending life is perfect. It's not. Love Him by loving others. No matter what. Let your light reflect your faith and God's grace.

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." John 3:17

No, we are not moving back to the city although boxes fill my kitchen. I just need to get rid of some much needed clutter. Last night during my Bible Study in Ephesians, my heart was stirred by God and I couldn't hold back the tears no more. 

"Not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free." Ephesians 6:6-8

My husband has to do his reading with the flashlight app on his phone. As he looks over at me, he shined his light on me, and said… Are you crying? Yep! Crying again!!! This time feeling like a big fat loser! I just felt like I hadn't accomplished all I set out to do this summer...my garden was a big flop due to water shortage, my yard and porch accumulating more junk, and my house just the same...one word...OVERWHELMED!!! 

Have you been there? My hubby had some encouraging words…Do you think Noah didn't get overwhelmed as he worked all those years on the ark? Seeing only bits and pieces...it takes time to get to the finished product. You just have to keep working until you get there and not give up when it gets hard and frustrating. 

So for me it's time to regroup and fill up some boxes with the clutter that has overwhelmed me.

God, help remove the clutter that has consumed my heart and place my focus on the joys of living each day for YOU!

THE WAY WE SPEND OUR TIME DEFINES WHO WE ARE

TIME SPENT WITH FAMILY IS WORTH EVERY SECOND